I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Thing Jokes
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.
