They're jokes
Why can't orphans have a large bag of chips? Because they're family sized.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
Why can't you ever see an emo?
They're too high to see.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
I love orphans. They're precious.
Why can't the T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct!
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"