They're jokes
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Why can't orphans have a big bag of chips?
Because they're family sized!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.