They jokes
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.