They jokes

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?

They can't reach 30.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

What do lesbians do while having their period?

They finger paint.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."

His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.

It crashed in a cemetery.

They recovered 500 bodies.

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.