Fur jokes
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
*electric noises*
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
They are hairy.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
What do you call an emo furry squad?
The suicide furs.