Fur

Fur Jokes

Bear

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

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  • Self Harm

    Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

    Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

    Animal

    Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

    Memes

    Tree

    Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!

    Camel

    The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

    "Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

    "And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

    "Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

    "And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

    "Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

    "But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

    Poop

    So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

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  • Furry

    What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?

    The Furred Reich.

    Food

    Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

    Rabbit

    How do you check that a rabbit is old?

    You check how many gray hares it has.

    Appearance

    What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

    Cheetah

    Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

    Because they don't have them on the inside.

    Momma

    Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

    Cat

    What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

    Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.