They jokes
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Memes
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! π€£ π€£ π€£
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: Thatβs as close as they can get to dye.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
They always say you are what you eat! So Iβd be nothing. That sounds about right.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? π π¦
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."