They jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.

So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

Girls are like volcanoes.

You never know when they will erupt.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.

It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.

How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.

Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.