Them jokes

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

If possible, I refrain from brunching celebrities. My path is smooth. The table receives the branching.

When I arrived at my friend's house and, after a long time, I was given permission to pick from the branches and graze the dog, I agreed. Then the work begins. "No, no money," I replied, "that's why I'm a burden to the world that hurts me."

And when I told them, they told me and said they were there. If I had a job, I would be fired on the first day for bad behavior. The best solution is to avoid this situation.

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?

One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!

Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The face you make when you nail them.

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

How do you know that Americans hate exercise?

9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?

Random words in my keyboard:

The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"

What thing can jump the highest?

Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?

Because homing missiles don’t work on them.

How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!

What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!

Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them!

Why are orphans so scared of the dark?

The dad can't check the closet for them.

Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.

There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.

Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.

How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope they hung themself in...

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?