Them jokes
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.
Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
Guys, why are we being racist? Why can't we love each other, please? Gimme that dick, boy. Please stop fighting. Let's love each other and them big ole dicks, please. Gimme that dick. I hate racism.
My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.
But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.