Them jokes

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come back.

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

What month of the year has 28 days?

Answer: All of them.

You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

All of them are married!

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!

Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.