Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms and she responds with “who the frick are you talking about, since I don’t know them I got a surprise for you” she wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled For Eugene
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late I asked her why did you send James out to the hall? She said she was a little tardy I asked her are I thought they all were
pov them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed.
her. all you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang you get me
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
How do non-binary people kill people They slash them
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
The best way to tell Hindu person and a Muslim person part is asking them Are you 7-Eleven Or 9/11
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
