Theft jokes
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.