Theft jokes
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"