Theft jokes
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.