Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-
In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.
With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.
Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.
Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.
A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.
With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.
Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.
But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.
And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
Roses are red violets are blue most of your jokes are stolen is not original to you
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
My girlfriend dumped me so I stole her weel chair she came crowding back
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
why cant orphan be robbers cause they're not wanted
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
