Theft jokes
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
Someone stole my balls :(
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.