That jokes

What do you call a house that isn't a house?

Not a house.

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.

I was listening to some Drake in class.

My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.

What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.

Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.

You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

What is a playground that is old?

A rotten playground.

What is a car that runs and can't?

Your mom stinks.

That is my joke.

You mom doesn’t really stink.

I know I am stupid. 🤕

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

"Bill, never do that again."

Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.

I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.

HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)

You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!

Me: You know your parents were very good people.

Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.

Me: I know, you're an orphan.

My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.

A school bus full of children.