That jokes

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!

When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.

I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.

That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?

"Hey, is that a peach?"

*gets slapped on the butt*

"Noted."

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?

Cold War.

My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.

I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.

Hey so I like orphan jokes, and some of them are fun, but I think that's engonp.

poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?

pOOp

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?

Hot Wheels.

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."

Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.