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Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"

Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.