Technology jokes
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
Memes
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
You make the juice go through my power brick.