Technology jokes
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Electricity.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
You make the juice go through my power brick.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.