Technology jokes
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Memes
wtf is this wifi
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Electricity.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Yo mama so fat that she broke your computer!
lol