Technology jokes
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Electricity.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.