Technology jokes
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Memes
f_ck teslas
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂