Technology jokes

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.

Why can orphans only use Samsung?

Because they don't have a home button.

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Somebody threw an EMP at him.

What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

How do you ground a Gen Z?

Make them go outside and socialize.

I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.

How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts 'n bolts!

Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?

There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!

What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...

They're both plastic and kids turn them on.

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.

The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.

"New around here?" said the bartender.

"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.

Bartender "You can talk?"

Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."

Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"

Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"

The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.

The robot seems to be just like a normal human.

"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.

"The top minds in the world," said the robot.

The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."

Bartender, "What?"

"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"

I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."

Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂