Technology jokes

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?

I made a website to support orphans.

It just needs a home page.

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Why can't orphans close their video games?

Because they can't find the home button.

Why was the Computer late to work?

'Coz it had a hard drive... LMAO

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

I love my new phone.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite snake?

Microchips.

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?

Microchips 😂

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.