What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Fucking Windows updates!
What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
His wife shut off the internet.
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Psyonix's OCE servers.
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
Steven Hawking lost the wifi connection on March 14, 2018.
Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
What do you call a pornography version of TikTok?
Dik Cok (dick cock)
Voicemailing.
