Technology jokes
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.