Technology jokes
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.