I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
If Stephen Hawking Gets a Heart Attack, where do you go, The hospital or curry’s PC World
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
