Technology jokes
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I wonder why....
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.