Technology jokes
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
Yo mama sooooo stupid, she bought tickets to Xbox Live!
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle. So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!