Technology jokes
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Memes
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldnβt figure out who.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
Whatβs the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.