Technology jokes
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Memes
When one just isn't enough
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.