Technology jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Memes
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.