Technology jokes
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.