What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
