Technology jokes
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.