Technology jokes
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.