Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
