Teacher Jokes

So in class they were learning about where food comes from: Teacher- so kids where does bacon come from? Student- PIGS Teacher- correct where does mutton come from? Student- SHEEP teacher- and finally here’s your homework- student- IK where that comes from! A FAT COW! 😂😂

So one day in 3rd grade, i was making this art piece and i was talking about my friend that was a boy that i have known for 5 years. but then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I"M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!!!!" as soon as i heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing there butts off, but laughed so hard, i fell out of my chair!

A boy walks in to class with shirt, pants, underwear, and socks teacher says “where have you been” the boy says on a peach hill.

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks teacher says “Where have you been” boy says on a peach hill.

Then a girl walk in a the teacher says “ And where on earth have you been” the girl says “ well you see...” then teacher stops her and says “ let me guess on a peach hill” girl says “ no on 2 big cucumbers.

So one day I was walking home from school with my best friend sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that bob the class rep got her pregnant a eight months ago and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said “sally it’ll be ok I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson” “yeah thanks suzy” she said to me then went into her house. The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school so I was like oh she must be in trouble with her mom I’ll go check on her So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands “oh hello. Is that Sally’s son!! Can I see sally?” Her mom says sure and I go inside but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone “here lies sally 2004-2020” so I ask her mom in tears “oh did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied “you could say that..”

An old professor’s class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?” With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

A note for my old English Teacher:

Mr colin, who loves making a din, he thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, that's not what everyone shows, about his life he ploughs and ploughs, about his dog bella and his relation-ship woes... mr colin, we do not care, when you speak, our minds are not there, your life you have unnecessarily shared, when we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr colin, rumbling about his exceptions, just when someone puts something in the bin, or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, but Mr Colin, drinking too much gin, will flail all his annoying attention on him, he'll push his limits, right to the rim... And just how i love flan~ Oh he's finally gone~

@DreamBlue

Teacher: What does a chicken give you? Student: an egg! Teacher: What does a fat cow give you? Student: homework!

A student got a bad lettered grade so the next day he came back with his own lettered grade in his backpack an A....... K47

are teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall no resson so i said hey wall dat ass flat like a pancake from mcdondles.

I once dated a Math teacher,, it turned out she was nothing but problems

There were 3 guys in detetenion called zip willy pee and they were all being naughty the teacher came in and said zip down willy out pee in the corner

Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?

Me: You wouldn't get it.

The teacher once said to some students ̈i was an orphan before your principle hired me. ̈ the students said ̈oof that is sad ̈ the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said ̈is anyone missing ̈ the students said ̈your parents. ̈ the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job

A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath, the first pupil said he wasn’t the one, the second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class. The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them. Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class? The teacher fainted.

Guess who I saw at school today?

Everyone I looked at. loooooooool

One morning peppy and George came downstairs for Breckfast but they got a plate of juicy bacon there dad had recently gone missing so they ate it quite sadly the next morning they went to school and asked their teacher what is bacon made out of the teacher replied “pigs why?”peppa and George looked horrified