When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
what do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up." Nobody stands up. After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone." Little Johnny stands up. "Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?" "Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone not here?
Student: Yes, your parents.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
