Teacher jokes
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!
I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
What has a dog?
People.
Why did the rapper become a teacher?
Because they had a knack for dropping KNOWLEDGE.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."