Teacher jokes

Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"

Kid named Teacher: *

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

Because there was no chemistry...

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?

What has a dog?

People.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.

What did Rengoku say to his class?

"Set your school ablaze!"

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.