Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
What has a dog?
People.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Me: Mrs., can I read my book?
Teacher: Sure.
Me: *watching my Chromebook*
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
