Teaching jokes

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.

What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.

When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

I like school.

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.