Teacher Jokes

little johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over, as she dose she is met by the principal. they go into his office and the principal say "your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." the mother responds "he is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? bring him in here." a boy walks in and johnnys mother says "this isnt my son, bring him in here i would like a word with him." the principal replies "ma'am, this is clouds." the mother feints

Why did the teacher were sunglasses? Because her students were so bright

one of my students ask "can i have a book mark?"

A YEAR OF SCHOOL AND THEY STILL DONT KNOW MY NAME IS DANNY

:popular girl. Sorry iM lAtE. :teacher. Why are u late! :girl. I NeEd My BueAty SleEp :Nerd. Well u might need to hibernate because u ain’t pretty

Teacher: What is the Capitol of Washinton? Dumb kid: The W???

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Teacher: What month is it? Quiet kid: AUG-ust Classroom: visible concern

1,2 I have a gun 3,4 I am in a school 5,6 Everyone on the ground

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home

The orphan where do I go

The teacher home

Orphan catch me on the streets then

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise

Breathing exercises

I told this to my English teacher and he said it to the class and no one laughed someone help)

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher. They said: you can't be a pro-grammer nazi.

do you know what the equivalent to hell is theses days 1. listening to your teacher 2. not haveing your phone/ game / tv 3. not haveing niccotine

I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

How did the shark do on his math test?

Jawesome!

my teacher asked me what my favirote number was yesterday and i said 2977, i chose 91 for my football jersey number and sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher mr jacksons dad died in 9/11 and when he was talking about it friday the 9th i threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting monday

Kid: where do i put this ppr? teacher: i already said go ask ur neighbors. Kid: Ok *walks home to his neighbors house* Kid: hey neighbor i didn't know where to put this ppr and my teacher said to ask you do you know? Neighbor: no sorry i dont kid: okay bye! *kid walks back to school.* kid: teacher my next door neighbor didn't know. teacher: uhh you went home?! kid: yes you told meh to! teacher: i meant at school! kid: ohhhhhh! teacher: DUH!