Teacher

Teacher jokes

Class

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

9/11

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

Orphan

Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?

Because they have a home room.

Name

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

Stereotype

Teacher: We are going to Seville.

Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!

Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.

Omg thanks for 1000 likes!

Student

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Gram

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

Stereotype

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

Orphan

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

Cell

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

Dick

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Life

Dark Humor

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

Self-esteem

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Class

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

C4

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.