Teacher jokes
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.