Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alabama.
Alabama who?
Alabama your cousin.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Gigachad.
What is long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.
