20+ Judgment Jokes

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...

"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

bruh

The image has text at the top saying "me: who am I to judge? also me:" followed by a picture of Simon Cowell looking like he is making a judgement.

Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

Why can't Jesus judge gay people?

He got nailed right before he died.

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

Your hairline's so far back, even Andrew Tate rejected it.

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"

Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."