Sound jokes

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"

"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"

I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.

I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.

What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.

What do you call a train full of gum?

A chew chew train.

I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼

Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!

What kind of birds stick together?

Vel-crows.

When the nlgga is farting!!!

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

What does a perverted frog say?

"Rubbit."

I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.

"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

Say "I hop in this:".

I made you eat your peas! 🤦

What does an Asian doorbell sound like?

"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"

What did the cat say when he got mad?

I'm hissed!

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.