Son Jokes

My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.

I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

Son: What's for dinner tonight? Mon: Steak! Son: Mom you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me? Mim: HUNGER!

Hey what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is Sundyed tomato

Get it sundyed like son died

Jesus is the worst just joking he is the best Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle Jesus comes from Bethlehem😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

I asked my dad, "are we there yet" and he told me "don't worry son it will be a short ride"

why did the son go to the store? to find his dad

All of a guys son's came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar. The bartender asks "Do u have anyone in ur family who likes women?" The man said "My wife does!"

I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap

Orphans prayer In the name of the The son The holy Spirit Amen

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit somthing brown and gross?that is bull crap

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You

Years later: Dad still did not come back

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017 it’s now 2018 and I’m still waiting for him to open it

A dad and son walks into a strip club the people in the strip club said he was to young to be in hear so they had to leave 10 years later they went back there. They saw a small dancer the father walked over there and said the woman looked to small to be in hear her reply was...?

Person one: What did the Dj name his son? Person two: IDK what Person one: Erik(while making a DJ motion)

Dark Humor: Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap Son: Mom, I'm blind Mom: Exactly Inspired by my derp other half

A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off he looks a his son and says I didn't know back to school sales started yet.

So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"