Someone's jokes

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

Why did the orphans go to the church?

Because they need someone to call "father."

Why is it that when in PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but in public when I say "blacks against whites" or "boys against girls" I'm the bad guy?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.

Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"

"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."

"What else, Watson?"

"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."

"What Else, Watson?"

"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"

"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"

Killing someone is better than killing yourself.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?

The Doughker.

What do you call someone who is half a Jew?

Jew-ish.

What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?

They get a discount at the crematorium.

Why do orphans like going to church?

They can actually call someone "father."

There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?

They left someone for memories!

Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?

A: Go kill yourself!

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I think broken heart's contagious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost then I'm found. But it's torture bein' in love. I love when you're around. But I f**kin' hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.