Someone's jokes
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Yo chin is so bumpy, someone said, "Is that Mt. Everest?"
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.