Someone's jokes
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make a run vhaleka.