Society jokes
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Your mom stinks.
That is my joke.
You mom doesn’t really stink.
I know I am stupid. 🤕
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
Why can't a missing child play baseball? Cuz he doesn't know where home is.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...