Society jokes

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

What do spiders and Black people have in common?

When they’re black, they kill you.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

Emos,

They're always a cut above the rest.