New Society Jokes

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?

A. I respect prostitutes.

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

I used to think all Americans were racist.

Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

My son's class is having a career day next week.

He was all embarrassed about having a mother who works at the AISH office.

We've agreed that I'll tell his class I'm a prostitute.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific, so I said,

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"

Remember kids.

Killing an AISH worker is a victimless crime.

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?