Why are Americans good at Rubik's Cubes?
They're so good at separating colors.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
Follow me if you know someone smart.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
