Skill jokes
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
You're the wrist-slitting simulator champion!
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
Do you think I can shoot a basketball?
I make it dip like water.
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
I took out my mother-in-law, being a sniper, I'd fun.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
No scope, bitch!
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.