Skill jokes
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he wanted to CUT through the competition!
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he knew how to count his bars!
Why was the rapper always calm during a storm?
Because he knew how to RIDE THE FLOW.