Skill jokes
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat…
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
Why was the booty so good at poker?
Because it always had a good PAIR.