Capability jokes

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?

Wrong.

What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?

Special Forces.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

What do you call a retard with AK special forces?

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

Orphan: I want to kill my parents.

Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.

What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?

Special forces.

What is the difference between a human and a magic house!?

A magic house 🏡 can fly, and a human can walk.

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

Louis' IQ is like his running; always two points below average.