What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
