Size jokes

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind, it’s too long.

Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.

If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.

If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”