What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
