Size jokes

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind, it’s too long.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)

Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.

Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.

I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!