Size jokes

Teacher: This assignment is big.

Student (male): I have something that's big.

Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.

I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

What do you call a fat midget?

Jigglypuff.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

And microtransaction.

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”