Size jokes
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Small People.
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.
Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.