Size jokes

Teacher: This assignment is big.

Student (male): I have something that's big.

Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.

I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

What do you call a fat midget?

Jigglypuff.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.