Size jokes

I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

What do you call a fat midget?

Jigglypuff.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.