Size jokes

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

Teacher: This assignment is big.

Student (male): I have something that's big.

Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

What do you call a fat midget?

Jigglypuff.

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

And microtransaction.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”