why do dwarfs hate Fast food Restaurants? Cause most of them have Medium and large
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says: "I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer. Answer: Ryans forehead
Why is a elephent big,grey, and hairy?
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What was the last pizza order at the world trade center?
Two Large Plaines
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
My favorite thing to do on my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Your forehead is so large if I drew an H on it maybe Kobe could've landed
Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathise with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".
A tiny psychic escaped from jail and the news said there a small medium at large.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He's a small medium at large.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
