Size jokes

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.

The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.

That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."

Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

What's big and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?

It goes right over their head.

Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.

Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.

I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.

Why couldn't the pony sing a song?

He was a little horse.

What's a footlong and slippery?

A slipper.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

Why do orphans hate family-size candy?

Because they can't share it with their family.