What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Size Jokes
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.