Size jokes
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
You're so fat that you're as big as UY Scuti!
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"