Size jokes
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
Why is Uranus so big? Because you discovered it.
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
Yo mama so fat, she takes up all the space.
My wiener's small.
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.