Shovel jokes
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
Bean.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
To dig deep with his lyrics.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?
Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.